FIGHT CLUB by Jim Uhls based on a novel by Chuck Palahnuik 2/16/98 SCREEN BLACK JACK (V.O.) People were always asking me, did I know Tyler Durden. FADE IN: INT. SOCIAL ROOM - TOP FLOOR OF HIGH RISE -- NIGHT TYLER has one arm around Jack's shoulder; the other hand holds a HANDGUN with the barrel lodged in JACK'S MOUTH. Tyler is sitting in Jack's lap. They are both sweating and disheveled, both around 30; Tyler is blond, handsome; and Jack, brunette, is appealing in a dry sort of way. Tyler looks at his watch. TYLER One minute. (looking out window) This is the beginning. We're at ground zero. Maybe you should say a few words, to mark the occasion. JACK ... i... ann....iinn.. ff....nnyin... JACK (V.O.) With a gun barrel between your teeth, you only speak in vowels. Jack tongues the barrel to the side of his mouth. JACK (still distorted) I can't think of anything. JACK (V.O.) With my tongue, I can feel the rifling in the barrel. For a second, I totally forgot about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing and I wondered how clean this gun is. Tyler checks his watch. TYLER It's getting exciting now. JACK (V.O.) That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both way. Jack turns so that he can see down -- 31 STORIES. JACK (V.O.) We have front row seats for this Theater of Mass Destruction. The Demolitions Committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of ten buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes, primary charges will blow base charges, and those buildings will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this because Tyler knows this. TYLER Look what we've accomplised. (checks watch) Thirty seconds. JACK (V.O.) Somehow, I realize all of this -- the gun, the bombs, the revolution -- is really about Marla Singer. PULL BACK from Jack's face. It's pressed against TWO LARGE BREASTS that belong to...BOB, 45, a moose of a man. Jack is engulfed by Bob in an intense embrace. Bob weeps openly. JACK (V.O.) Bob had bitch tits. PULL BACK to wide on... INT. CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT Men are paired off, hugging, talking in emotional tones. Near the door, a SIGN on a stand: "REMAINING MEN TOGETHER." JACK (V.O.) This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me was Bob. BOB We're still men. JACK Yes. We're men. Men is what we are. JACK (V.O.) Six months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. That was where my head fit -- into his huge, sweating tits that hung enormous, the way we think of God's as big. BOB They're gonna have to open my pec's again to drain the fluid. Bob hugs tighter; then looks with empathy into Jack's eyes. BOB Okay. You cry now. Jack looks at Bob. JACK (V.O.) Wait. Back up. Let me start earlier. INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Jack lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. JACK (V.O.) For six months. I could not sleep. INT. COPY ROOM - DAY Jack, sleepy, stands over a copy machine. His Starbucks cup sits on the lid, moving back and forth as the machine copies. JACK (V.O.) With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. Other people make copies, all with Starbucks cups, sipping. Jack picks up his cup and his copies and leaves. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - SAME Jack, sipping, stares blankly at a Starbucks bag on the floor, full of newspapers and FAST FOOD GARBAGE. JACK (V.O.) When deep space exploration ramps up, it will be corporations that name everything. The IBM Stellar Sphere. The Philip Morris Galaxy. Planet Starbucks. Jack looks up as a pudgy man, Jack's BOSS, enters, Starbucks cup in hand, and slides a stack of reports on Jack's desk. BOSS I'm going to need you out-of-town a little more this week. We've got some "red-flags" to cover. JACK (V.O.) It must've been Tuesday. he was wearing his "cornflower-blue" tie. JACK (listless management speak) You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade? BOSS You need to make these your primary "action items." JACK (V.O.) He was full of pep. Must've had his grande latte enema. BOSS Here are your flight coupons. Call me from the road if there are any snags. Your itinerary... Jack hides a yawn, pretends to listen. INT. BATHROOM - JACK'S CONDO - NIGHT Jack sits on the toilet, CORDLESS PHONE to his ear, flips through an IKEA catalog. There's a stack of old Playboy magazines and other catalogs nearby. JACK (V.O.) Like everyone else, I had become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct. JACK (into phone) Yes. I'd like to order the Erika Pekkari slip covers. Jack drops the open catalog on the floor. MOVE IN ON CATALOG -- ON PHOTO of COFFEETABLE SET... JACK (V.O.) If I saw something like clever coffee table sin the shape of a yin and yang, I had to have it. PAN TO PHOTO of ARMCHAIR... JACK (V.O.) Like the Johanneshov armchair in the Strinne green stripe pattern... INT. LIVING ROOM/DINING AREA/KITCHEN The armchair APPEARS. PAN OVER next to armchair... JACK (V.O.) Or the Rislampa wire lamps of environmentally-friendly unbleached paper. The lamps APPEAR. PAN OVER to wall... JACK (V.O.) Even the Vild hall clock of galvanized steel, resting on the Klipsk shelving unit. The clock APPEARS as the shelving unit APPEARS on the wall. JACK (V.O.) I would flip through catalogs and wonder, "What kind of dining set defines me as a person?" We used to read pornography. Now it was the Horchow Collection. A dining room set APPEARS. Jack, the cordless phone still glued to his ear, walks INTO FRAME and continues. JACK No, I don't want Cobalt. Oh, that sounds nice. Apricot. Jack opens a cabinet, takes out a plate. JACK (V.O.) I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of wherever. He rummages through the refrigerator. It's practically empty. Jack takes out a jar of mustard, opens it and uses a butter knife to eat it. INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY Jack, eyes puffy, face pale, sits before an INTERN, who studies him with bemusement. INTERN No, you can't die of insomnia. JACK Maybe I died already. Look at my face. INTERN You need to lighten up. JACK Can't you give me something? JACK (V.O.) Red-and-blue Tuinal, lipstick-red Seconals. INTERN (overlapping w/ above) You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew valerian root and get some more exercise. The Intern ushes Jack to the door. They step into the... INT. HALLWAY The Intern walks away from Jack, picks up a chart. JACK I'm in pain. INTERN (facetious) You want to see pain? Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights. See the guys with testicular cancer. That's pain. The Intern moves into the other room. Jack stares after him. EXT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT Jack heads for the front door. INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - NIGHT Jack stares at a group of men, including Bob, who are all listening to a group member speak at a lectern. The SPEAKER has pale skin and sunken eyes -- he's clearly dying. SPEAKER I... wanted three kids. Two boys and a girl. Mindy wanted two girls and one boy. We never could agree on anything. The Speaker cracks a sad smile. Some men chuckle, happy to lighten the mood. SPEAKER Well, she had her first child a month ago, a girl, with her new husband... And, Thank God. I'm glad for her, because she deserves... The speaker breaks down, WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY. Jack watches. A couple of the men go up to the speaker, comforting him, leading him away. A LEADER takes the stand. LEADER Everyone, let's thank Thomas for sharing himself with us. Jack, uncomfortable, joins EVERYONE ELSE: EVERYONE (in unison) Thank you, Thomas. LEADER I look around this room and I see a lot of courage. And it gives me strength. We give each other strength. Jack looks around. Many of the men are sniffling, sobbing. Jack squirms in his seat. LEADER It's time for the one-on-one. Let's follow Thomas's example and open ourselves. Everyone gets out of their chairs and begins pairing-off. Jack stands, uncomfortable. LEADER Can everyone find a partner? Bob, his chin down on his chest, starts toward Jack, shuffling his feet. JACK (V.O.) The big moosie, his eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears. Knees together, invisible steps. Bob takes Jack into an embrace. JACK (V.O.) Bob was a champion bodybuilder. You know that chest expansion program you see on TV? That was his idea. BOB ...using steroids. I was a juicer. Diabonol, then, Wisterol -- it's for racehorses, for Christsake. Now I'm bankrupt, divorced, my two grown kids won't return my calls... JACK (V.O.) Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one. Bob breaks into sobbing, putting his head on Jack's shoulder and completely covering Jack's face. After a long beat of crying, Bob raises up his head, looks at Jack's NAMETAG. BOB Go ahead, Cornelius. You can cry. They look at each other. Slowly, Jack's eyes grow wet. JACK (V.O.) Then... something happened. I was lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete. Bob pulls Jack's head back into his chest. Jack tightens his arms around Bob. JACK (V.O.) I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. Jack pulls away from Bob. On Bob's chest, there's a WET MASK of Jack's face from how he looks weeping. JACK (V.O.) Babies don't sleep this well. INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Jack lies sound asleep. JACK (V.O.) I became addicted. INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT Jack moves into a "group hug" of sickly people, men and women. In view is a sign by the door "Free and Clear." INT. OFFICE BUILDING BASEMENT - NIGHT Jack stands with a weeping middle-aged WOMAN. He begins to cry along with her. A sign by the door: "Onward and Upward." JACK (V.O.) If I didn't say anything, people assumed the worst. They cried harder. I cried harder. INT. PUBLIC BUILDING CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT Everyone, including Jack, sits back in their seats, EYES CLOSED. The Leader speaks into a microphone. LEADER Tonight, we're going to open the green door -- the heart chakra... JACK (V.O.) I wasn't really dying, I wasn't host to cancer or parasites; I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around. LEADER ...And you open the door and you step inside. We're inside our hearts. Now, imaging your pain as a white ball of healing light. That's right, the pain itself is a ball of healing light. Jack, eyes closed, is silent... LEADER It moves over your body, healing you. Keep this going and step forward, through the back door of the room. Where does it lead? To your cave. Step forward into your cave. INT. CAVE - JACK'S IMAGINATION Jack walks along, moving through an ICE CAVERN... LEADER'S VOICE That's right. You're going deeper into your cave. And you're going to find your power animal... Jack comes upon a PENGUIN. The penguin looks at him, cocks his head to signal Jack forward. PENGUIN Slide. The penguin jumps onto a patch of ICE and slides away. EXT. STREET - NIGHT Jack walks out a doorway, saying goodbye to people. He walks down the sidewalk, shining with peace. JACK (V.O.) Every evening I died and every evening I was born again. Resurrected. CUT BACK TO: INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - RESUMING Jack's still in an embrace with Bob. JACK (V.O.) Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, my face against his tits, ready to cry -- this was my vacation. MARLA SINGER enters. She has short matte black hair and big, dark eyes like a character from japanese animation. JACK (V.O.) And, she ruined everything. Marla looks around, raises a cigarette to her lips. MARLA This is cancer, right? Bob and Jack stare, dumbfounded. INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - LATER Everyone paired-off. MOVE THROUGH ROOM... FIND JACK'S FACE as he stares... MOVE THROUGH ROOM... FIND MARLA'S FACE. She's drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette. JACK (V.O.) This ... chick ... Marla Singer ... did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar. INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT Marla sits with the group, smoking, listening intently while a member speaks. Jack spies on her. JACK (V.O.) She had no diseases at all. I had seen her at my melanoma Monday night group ... INT. CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL - NIGHT Marla sits at the end of a row, smoking. All the faces down the row are turned toward her, incredulous... JACK (V.O.) ... and at "Free and Clear," my blood parasites group Thursdays. Jack leans out further than the others, scornful. JACK (V.O.) -- And, again, at "Seize The Day," my tuberculosis Friday night. CUT BACK TO: INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - ANOTHER NIGHT Jack watches... Marla's eyes are closed, her head on the shoulder of the MAN she's embraced by. She opens her eyes, catching Jack's stare. Jack looks away. JACK (V.O.) Marla -- the big tourist. Her lie reflected my lie. Marla rests her chin on the man's shoulder. Tears roll down her cheeks. She wipes at them. EXT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT Marla walks out, The support group's dispersing. Jack exits amongst them. He spots Marla walking away. JACK (V.O.) And suddenly, I felt nothing. I couldn't cry. So, once again, I could not sleep. Jack stares after Marla for a long moment. He walks away. INT. BEDROOM - LATER Jack, in underwear, is cross-legged on the floor, assembling IKEA furniture, CORDLESS PHONE shouldered to his ear. JACK (into phone) No, I just can't believe that card is declined -- Okay, okay, let me give you a different card number. Jack gets his wallet off the floor, pulls out another card and, MOS over the following, he reads it into the phone. JACK (V.O.) Next group, after guided meditation, after we open our chakras, when it's time to hug, I'm going to grab that little bitch, Marla Singer, pin her arms against her sides and say... INT. MEETING ROOM - NIGHT - JACK'S IMAGINATION CLOSE ON JACK as he CLAMPS his arms around Marla. JACK Marla, you liar, you big tourist. I need this. Get out. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jack, in pajamas, stares at Home Shopping Network on his TV. JACK (V.O.) When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake. I hadn't slept in four days... INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT Jack walks in and joins the crowd, looking around. People are chattering with each other. JACK (V.O.) -- But, in here, in everyone, there's the squint of a five-day headache. Yet they forced themselves to be positive. They never said "parasite;" they said "agent." They always talked about getting better. LEADER Okay, everyone. Everyone sits in chairs. Jack catches sight of Marla. LEADER To open tonight's communion, Chloe would like to say a few words. Taking the lectern is CHLOE, a pale, sickly girl whose skin stretches yellowish and tight over her bones. She wears a head bondage. She clears her throat. JACK (V.O.) Ahh, Chloe. Chloe looked the way Joni Mitchell's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around a party being extra nice to everyone. CHLOE Well, I'm still here -- but I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. but I've got some good news -- I no longer have any fear of death. APPLAUSE from around the room. CHLOE But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants and amyl nitrate ... The LEADER gingerly takes control of the microphone. LEADER Thank you, Chloe. Everyone, let's thank Chloe. EVERYONE Thank you, Chloe. INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - LATER LEADER Now, you're standing at the entrance to your cave. You step inside your cave and you walk. Keep walking. Jack's face, eyes closed, is motionless. JACK (V.O.) If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla. Marla...the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't. LEADER Now, find your power animal. INT. CAVE - JACK'S IMAGINATION Jack finds Marla smoking a cigarette. Marla cocks her head, indicating she wants him to -- MARLA Slide. INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - RESUMING Jack's eyes open and turn to Marla, watching her blow smoke rings with her eyes closed. INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - LATER Everyone stands and mills about, pairing-off. LEADER Pick someone special to you tonight. Jack sees the ghastly spectre of Chloe ambling towards him. He tries to smile. She smiles with a twisted, dying mouth. CHLOE Hello, Mr. Tayler. JACK (V.O.) I never gave my real name at support groups. JACK Hi, Chloe. CHLOE We've never actually talked. Chloe's eyes are eerily bright with desperation. Jack, in a sincere attempt at levity, chokes out: JACK You look good. You ... look ... like a pirate. Chloe laughs, a little too much. Jack squeezes out a laugh. Then he sees Marla, off by herself. Someone heads for her. JACK Excuse me, I have to... Jack gives a quick nod to Chloe and darts towards Marla. Chloe watches him go. STAY ON JACK AND MARLA as Jack CLAMPS his arms around her. He whispers into her ear. JACK We need to talk. MARLA Sure. JACK I'm on to you. You're a faker. You aren't dying. MARLA What? JACK Okay, in the Sylvia Plath philosophy way, we're all dying. But you're not dying the way Chloe is dying. LEADER Tell the other person how you feel. JACK You're a tourist. I saw you at melanoma, tuberculosis and testicular cancer. MARLA And I saw you practicing this... JACK Practicing what? MARLA Telling me off. Is it going as well as you hoped... ? (reads his nametag) "... Mr. Taylor." JACK I'll expose you. MARLA Go ahead. I'll expose you. LEADER Share yourself completely. Marla puts her head down on Jack's shoulder as if she were crying. Jack pulls her head back up. She deadpans at him. JACK Why are you doing this? MARLA It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee. JACK These are my groups. I was here first. I've been coming for a year. MARLA A year? How'd you manage that? JACK Anyone who might've noticed either died or recovered and never came back. LEADER Let yourself cry. MARLA Why do you do it? JACK I... I don't know. I guess... when people think you're dying, they really listen, instead... MARLA -- Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. JACK Yeah. Brief recognition between them, broken as the Leader passes. LEADER Quietly, now. Share with each other. Jack waits till the Leader's out of earshot. JACK (warning) It becomes an addiction. MARLA Really? Jack sighs, then pulls back. JACK Look, I can't cry with a faker present. MARLA Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem. JACK Please. Can't we do something... ? Marla starts out of the room. Jack follows her. LEADER Now, the closing prayer. EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS Marla gets to the sidewalk, moving quickly along. JACK We'll split up the week. You can have lymphoma, tuberculosis and -- MARLA You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all. JACK I think testicular cancer should be no contest. MARLA Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls. JACK You're kidding. MARLA I don't know -- am I? Jack follow Marla into... INT. LAUNDROMAT - CONTINUOUS Marla walks with authority up to an unwatched DRYER. She takes out clothes, picks out jeans, pants and shirts. MARLA I'll take the parasites. JACK You can't have both parasites. You can take blood parasites -- MARLA I want brain parasites. JACK Okay. I'll take blood parasites and organic brain dementia -- MARLA I want that. JACK You can't have the whole brain! MARLA So far, you have four and I only have two! JACK Then, take blood parasites. It's yours. Now we each have three. Marla gathers the chosen garments and heads out past Jack... EXT. SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS Jack follows, bewildered. JACK You... left half your clothes. HONK! Jack starts. Marla's led him into the street with traffic barreling down. Marla walks on, oblivious as CARS screech to a halt, HORNS BLARING. Jack dashes, following... INT. THRIFT STORE - CONTINUOUS Marla drops the pile of clothes on a counter. An old CLERK sifts through the clothes, begins writing on a pad. JACK You're selling those? Marla steps down hard on Jack's foot. He winces in pain. MARLA (for the Clerk to hear) Yes, I'm selling some chothes. The Clerk starts to ring up the assessed amounts. MARLA So, we each have three -- that's six. What about the seventh day? I want ascending bowel cancer. JACK (V.O.) The girl had done her homework. JACK I want ascending bowel cancer. The Clerk gives a strange look as he hands money to Marla. MARLA That's your favorite, too? Tried to slip it by me, eh? JACK We'll split it. You get it the first and third Sunday of the month. MARLA Deal. They shake. Jack tries to withdraw his hand; Marla holds it. MARLA Looks like this is goodbye. JACK Let's not make a big thing out of it. She walks to the door, pocketing money, not looking back. MARLA How's this for not making a big thing? Jack watches her go. A moment, then he follows after... EXT. SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS Jack hesitates, unsure, then run/walks to catch up to her... JACK Um... Marla, should we maybe exchange numbers? MARLA Should we? JACK In case we want to switch nights. MARLA I suppose. Jack takes out a business card, writes his number on the back, hands it to her. She takes the pen, grabs his hand and writes her number on his palm. She walks into the street, causing more SCREECHING and HONKING. She turns, holds up the card. MARLA It doesn't have your name. Who are you? Cornelius? Mr. Taylor? Dr. Zaius? Any of the stupid names you give each night? Jack starts to answer, but the traffic noise is too loud. Marla just shakes her head, turns, and keeps moving. A BUS moves into view, obscuring her. JACK (V.O.) This is how I met Marla Singer. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY The plane touches down; the cabin BUMPS. Jack's eyes open. JACK (V.O.) You wake up at O'Hare. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY Jack snaps awake again, looking around, disoriented. JACK (V.O.) You wake up at SeaTac. EXT. HIGHWAY - DUSK The rear of a CRASHED CAR sticks up by the side of the road. Jack stands, marking on a clipboard. The SUN SETS behind. INT. AIRPORT - NIGHT Jack stands at a gate counter. An ATTENDANT smiles at him. ATTENDANT Check-in for that flight doesn't begin for another two hours, Sir. Jack looks with blearing eyes at his watch, steps away and looks at an overhanging CLOCK. JACK (V.O.) Pacific, Mountain, Central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY Jack's eyes snap open as the plane LANDS. JACK (V.O.) You wake up at Air Harbor International. INT. AIRPORT WALKWAY Jack stands on a conveyor belt, briefcase at his feet. He watches PEOPLE MOVING PAST on the opposite conveyor. JACK (V.O.) If you wake up at a different time and in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Jack misses seeing TYLER on the opposite conveyor belt. They pass each other. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - IN FLIGHT - NIGHT Jack sits next to a BUSINESSMAN. As they have idle CONVERSATION, we MOVE IN ON Jack's tray. An ATTENDANT'S HANDS set coffee down with a small container of cream. JACK (V.O.) Everywhere I travel -- tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. CUT TO: HANDS place a dinner tray down. JACK (V.O.) Microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. INT. HOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT Jack brushes his teeth in the MIRROR. JACK (V.O.) Shampoo/conditioner combo. Single- serving mouthwash, tiny bar of soap. Jack picks up an individual, wrapped Q-TIP, looks at it. He moves out of the bathroom into... MAIN ROOM Jack sits on the bed. He turns on the TV. It's tuned to the "Sheraton Channel," shows WAITERS serving people in a large BANQUET ROOM. Jack stops brushing his teeth, feels something on the bed, lifts it -- a small DINNER MINT. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - IN FLIGHT - NIGHT Jack sits next to a frumpy WOMAN. They chat. Jack turns to look at his food, takes a bite. He turns back and it's... --a BALD MAN next to him, talking. Jack takes another bite, turns back and it's... --a BUSINESSMAN next to him. Jack takes another bite, turns back, and it's... --a BUSINESS WOMAN next to him. JACK (V.O.) The people I meet on each flight -- they're single-serving friends. Between take-off and landing, we have our time together, but that's all we get. INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - LANDING Jack's eyes snap open. JACK (V.O.) You wake up at Logan. INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS A giant corrugated METAL DOOR opens. JACK (V.O.) On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. Two TECHNICIANS lead Jack to the BURNT-OUT SHELL of a WRECKED AUTOMOBILE. Jack sets down his briefcase, opens it and starts to make notes on a CLIPBOARDED FORM. JACK (V.O.) I'm a recall coordinator. My job is to apply the formula. It's a story problem. TECHNICIAN #1 Here's where the infant went through the windshield. Three points. JACK (V.O.) A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour. The rear differential locks up. TECHNICIAN #2 The teenager's braces around the backseat ashtray would make a good "anti-smoking" ad. JACK (V.O.) The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now: do we initiate a recall? TECHNICIAN #1 The father must've been huge. See how the fat burnt into the driver's seat with his polyester shirt? Very "modern art." JACK (V.O.) Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X... CUT TO: INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - MOVING DOWN RUNWAY Jack is speaking to the BUSINESSWOMAN next to him. JACK If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. BUSISNESS WOMAN Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? JACK Oh, you wouldn't believe. BUSINESS WOMAN ... Which... car company do you work for? JACK A major one. Turgid silence. Jack turns to the window. He sees a PELICAN get SUCKED into the TURBINE. JACK (V.O.) Every time the plane banked too sharply on take-off or landing, I prayed for a crash, or a mid-air collision -- anything. Jack's face remains bland during the following: the plane BUCKLES -- the cabin wobbles. People panic. Masks drop. JACK (V.O.) No more haircuts. Nothing matters, not even bad breath. The side of the plane SHEARS OFF! Screaming PASSENGERS are sucked out into the night air, flying past the quivering wind. Magazines and other objects fly everywhere. JACK (V.O.) Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip. Jack remains in his same position, same bland expression. DING! -- the seatbelt light goes OUT. Jack SNAPS AWAKE. EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. Some passengers get out of their seats. From next to Jack, a VOICE we've heard before... VOICE There are three ways to make napalm. One, mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice... Jack turns to see TYLER. Without turned to Jack, Tyler continues: TYLER Two, equal parts gasoline and diet cola. Three, dissolve kitty-litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick. JACK Pardon me? Tyler turns to Jack. JACK (V.O.) This is how I met -- TYLER Tyler Durden. Tyler offers his hand. Jack takes it. TYLER You know why they have oxygen masks on planes? JACK No, supply oxygen? TYLER Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, we're taking giant, panicked breaths... Tyler grabs a safety instruction CARD from the seatback, hands it to Jack. TYLER Suddenly, we become euphoic and docile. We accept our fate. Tyler points to passive faces on the drawn figures. TYLER Emergency water landing, 600 miles per hour. Blank faces -- calm as Hindu cows. Jack laughs. JACK What do you do, Tyler? TYLER What do you want me to do? JACK I mean -- for a living. TYLER Why? So you can say, "Oh, that's what you do." -- And be a smug little shit about it? Jack laughs. Tyler reaches under the seat in front of him and lifts a BRIEFCASE. TYLER You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh. Jack points to his own briefcase. JACK We have the same briefcase. Tyler turns the top of his briefcase toward Jack. TYLER Open it. Jack looks at Tyler, then pops the latches and raises the lid to reveal quaintly-wrapped bars of SOAP. TYLER Soap -- the yardstick of civilization. (reaches in his pocket) I make and sell soap... Tyler hands Jack his card. "THE PAPER STREET SOAP COMPANY." TYLER If you were to add nitric acid to the soap-making process, one would get nitroglycerin. With enough soap, one could blow up the world, if one were so inclined. Tyler SNAPS the briefcase shut. Jack stares. JACK Tyler, you are by far the most interesting "single-serving" friend I've ever met. Tyler stares back. Jack, enjoying his own chance to be witty, leans closer to Tyler. JACK You see, when you travel, everything is small, self-contained-- TYLER The spork. I get it. You're very clever. JACK Thank you. TYLER How's that working out for you? JACK What? TYLER Being clever. JACK (thrown) Well, uh... great. TYLER Keep it up, then. Keep it right up. Tyler stands, looks towards the aisle. TYLER ... As I squeeze past, do I give you the ass or the crotch? Tyler moves to the aisle, his ass toward jack, walks away... TYLER We are defined by the choices we make. Tyler goes to the curtain dividing First Class, slaps the curtain aside and sits in an empty seat. Jack watches. JACK (V.O.) How I came to live with Tyler is: airlines have this policy about vibrating luggage. INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA - NIGHT Utterly empty of baggage. No people except for Jack and a SECURITY TASK FORCE MAN. The Security TFM, smirking, holds a receiver to his ear from an official phone on the wall. SECURITY TFM (to Jack) Throwers don't worry about ticking. Modern bombs don't tick. JACK Excuse me? "Throwers?" SECURITY TFM Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, the throwers have to call the police. JACK My suitcase was vibrating? SECURITY TFM Nine time out of ten, it's an electric razor. But, every once in a while ... (whispers) ...it's a dildo. It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We use the indefinite aricle: "A dildo." Never "Your dildo." Jack sees, through the window, Tyler, at the curb, throwing his briefcase into the back of a shiny, red CONVERTIBLE. Tyler leaps over the door into the driver's seat and PEELS OUT. jack turns away, looks at the Security TFM. In the background, a HARRIED MAN dashes after Tyler and the convertible, SCREAMING. JACK (to Security TFM) I had everything in that bag. My C.K. shirts... my D.K.N.Y. shoes... SECURITY TFM (into phone) Yeah, uh huh... yeah? (pause, still on phone) Oh... EXT. EMPTY RUNWAY A lone SUITCASE sits on the concrete. SECURITY PERSONNEL keep their distance. KABOOM! The suitcase explodes. INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA - RESUMING The Security TFM, shakes his head, hangs up. SECURITY TFM I'm terribly sorry. The Security TFM hands Jack a claim form. Jack snatches it, disgusted, takes out a pen, starts filling out the form. SECURITY TFM You know the industry slang for "Flight Attendant?" "Air Mattress." INT. TAXI - MOVING - NIGHT Along a residential street. Jack looks ahead, sees a tall, grey, bland BUILDING on the corner. JACK (V.O.) Home was a condo on the fifteenth floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete is important when your next- door neighbor lets her hearing aid go and has to watch game shows at full volume... The taxi turns a corner and Jack sees the front of the building. A diffuse CLOUD of SMOKE wafts away from a BLOWN- OUT SECTION of the fifteenth floor. FIRETRUCKS, POLICE CARS and a MOB are all crowded around the lobby area. JACK (V.O.) -- Or when a volcanic blast of debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out your floor- to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF BUILDING Jack, gaping at the sight above him, absently gives the Cabbie money. The taxi pulls away. Jack starts toward the building. He pushes through the fray of people, into the... INT. LOBBY The DOORMAN sees Jack enter, gives a sad smile, shakes his head. Jack starts for the elevator. DOORMAN There's nothing up there. Jack presses the button. The Doorman moves next to him. DOORMAN You can't go into the unit. Police orders. The elevator doors open. Jack hesitates. The doors close. Jack heads out the lobby doors. The Doorman follows... EXT. CONDO BUILDING - CONTINUOUS Jack walks past SMOKING, CHARRED DEBRIS -- a flash of ORANGE from the Yang table, a CLOCK FACE from the hall clock, part of an arm from the GREEN ARMCHAIR. His feet CRUNCH glass. JACK (V.O.) How embarrassing. DOORMAN Do you have somebody you can call? Jack comes to his REFRIGERATOR lying on its side. He reaches down and takes a note: "MARLA --" and a phone number, from under a BANANA MAGNET. CLOSE SHOT - JACK'S STOVE Hissing. JACK (V.O.) The police would later tell me that the pilot light might have gone out... letting out just a little bit of gas. EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING Jack gets to a PAYPHONE. The Doorman follows, watching him. DOORMAN Lots of young people try to impress the world and buy too many things. Jack picks up the receiver, puts in a quarter. He looks at Marla's number a long moment. CLOSE SHOT - JACK'S ENTIRE CONDO - KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM The SOUND of the HISS... JACK (V.O.) The gas could have slowly filled the condo. Seventeen-hundred square feet with high ceilings, for days and days. EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING Jack replaces the receiver. He pockets Marla's number, digs out a small FILOFAX. He flips through the pages for phone numbers and addresses. Most of the pages are blank. DOORMAN Many young people feel trapped and desperate. INSERT - CLOSE ON THE BASE OF JACK'S REFRIGERATOR JACK (V.O.) Then, the refrigerator's compressor could have clicked on... Click. KABOOM! SCREEN GOES WHITE. EXT. PAYPHONE - RESUMING Jack looks at the Doorman. Tyler's BUSINESS CARD falls from the Filofax. Jack catches it. DOORMAN If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't. The Doorman walks away. Jack stares at Tyler's card. JACK (V.O.) If you asked me now, I couldn't tell you why I called him. Jack re-deposits the quarter, dials Tyler's number. It RINGS... and RINGS and RINGS. Jack sighs and hangs up the phone. A moment, then the phone RINGS. JACK Hello? TYLER'S VOICE Who's this? JACK Tyler? TYLER'S VOICE Who's this? JACK Uh... I'm sorry. We met on the plane. We had the same briefcase. I'm... you know, the clever guy. TYLER'S VOICE Oh, yeah. JACK I just called a second ago. There was no answer. I'm at a payphone. TYLER'S VOICE I star-sixty-nined you. I never pick up my phone. What's up? JACK Well... let me see... here's the thing... EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - NIGHT A small building in the middle of a concrete parking lot. INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME Jack and Tyler sit in the back, with a pitcher of BEER. JACK You buy furniture. You tell yourself: this is the last sofa I'll ever need. No matter what else happens, I've got the sofa issue handled. Then, the right set of dishes. The right dinette. TYLER This is how we fill up our lives. Tyler lights a cigarette. JACK I guess so. TYLER And, now it's gone. JACK All gone. Tyler offers cigarettes. Jack declines. TYLER Could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're asleep and toss it out the window of a moving car. JACK There's always that. TYLER I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's a terrible tragedy. JACK ...no ...no ... TYLER I mean, you did lose a lot of nice, neat little shit. The trendy paper lamps, the Euro-trash shelving unit, am I right? Jack laughs, nods. He shakes his head, drinks. TYLER But maybe, just maybe, you've been delivered. JACK (toasts) Delivered from Swedish furniture. TYLER Delivered from armchairs in obscure green stripe patterns. JACK Delivered from Martha Stewart. TYLER Delivered from bullshit colors like "Cobalt," "Ebony," and "Fuchsia." They laugh together. Then, silence. They drink. JACK Insurance'll cover it. TYLER Oh, yeah, you gotta start making the list. JACK What list? TYLER The "now I get to go out and buy the exact same stuff all over again" list. That list. JACK I don't... think so. TYLER This time maybe get a widescreen TV. You'll be occupied for weeks. JACK Well, I have to file a claim... TYLER The things you own, they end up owning you. JACK Don't I? TYLER Do what you like. JACK (looks at watch) God, it's late. I should find a hotel... TYLER A hotel? JACK Yeah. TYLER So, you called me up, because you just wanted to have a drink before you... go find a hotel? JACK I don't follow... TYLER We're on our third pitcher of beer. Just ask me. JACK Huh? TYLER You called me so you could have a place to stay. JACK No, I... TYLER Why don't you cut the shit and ask if you can stay at my place? JACK Would that be a problem? TYLER Is it a problem for you to ask? JACK Can I stay at your place? TYLER Yes, you can. JACK Thank you. TYLER You're welcome. But, I want you to do me one favor. JACK What's that? TYLER I want you to hit me as hard as you can. JACK What? TYLER I want you to hit me as hard as you can. Freeze picture. JACK (V.O.) Let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden. EXTREME CLOSE-UP - FILM FRAME -- And we see it's PORNOGRAPHY. INT. PROJECTIONIST ROOM - THEATRE - NIGHT Jack, in the foreground, FACES CAMERA. In the BACKGROUND, Tyler sits at a bench, looking at individual FRAMES cut from movies. Near him, a PROJECTOR rolls film. JACK Tyler was a night person. He sometimes worked as a projectionist. A movie doesn't come in one big reel, it's on a few. In old theaters, two projectors are used, so someone has to change projectors at the exact second when one reel ends and another reel begins. Sometimes you can see two dots on screen in the upper right hand corner... Tyler points to the side of OUR FRAME and the TWO DOTS briefly APPEAR ONSCREEN. TYLER They're called "cigarette burns." JACK It's called a "changeover." The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea. TYLER Why would anyone want this shitty job? JACK It affords him other interesting opportunities. TYLER -- Like splicing single frames from adult movies into family films. JACK In reel three, right after the courageous dog and the snooty cag -- who have celebrity voices -- eat out of a garbage can, there's the flash of Tyler's contribution... In the AUDIENCE, CHILDREN suddenly start squirming, confused, looking at each other. A WOMAN abruptly stops sucking her soda straw, feeling vaguely terrible. Her uncomfortable HUSBAND slowly leans back in his seat. Jack and Tyler watch from the projection booth window. TYLER One-forty-eighth of a second. That's how long it's up there. JACK No one really knows that they've seen it. But they did. TYLER A nice, big cock. JACK Only a hummingbird could have caught Tyler at work. INT. LARGE BANQUET HALL - NIGHT Tyler moves around one of many tables, setting down SOUP BOWLS. Jack stands in the same position, FACING CAMERA. JACK Tyler also worked as a banquet waiter at the luxurious Pressman Hotel. The GUESTS command the WAITERS with snaps of fingers. INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR - NIGHT Jack turns and WE PAN to Tyler, standing by a CART with a giant SOUP TUREEN. His hands are at his open fly and he's in position to piss into the soup. JACK He was the guerrilla terrorist of the food service industry. TYLER Don't watch. I can't if you watch. Jack waits. The SOUND of a STREAM of LIQUID is HEARD. TYLER ... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. JACK He farted on meringue; he sneezed on braised endive; and, with creme of mushroom soup, well... TYLER (O.S.) Go ahead. Say it. JACK You get the idea. EXT. PARKING LOT OF TAVERN - RESUMING Tyler and Jack come out the back door. JACK I don't know about this. TYLER I don't know, either. I want to find out. I've never been hit, have you? JACK No. That's a good thing, isn't it? TYLER I don't want to die without any scars. How much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? Come on... you're the only person I've ever asked. JACK Me? Jack stares at him. TYLER Why not you? I'm letting you go first. Do it. JACK This is crazy. TYLER Alright, go crazy. Let 'er rip. JACK Where do you want it? In the face? TYLER Surprise me. Jack swings a wide, clumsy roundhouse -- hits Tyler's neck -- makes a dull, flat sound. JACK Shit. Sorry. That didn't count. TYLER Like hell. That counted. Tyler shoots out a straight punch to Jack's chest. Jack falls back against a car. His eyes tear up. TYLER How do you feel? JACK Strange. TYLER But a good strange. JACK Is it? TYLER We've crossed the threshold. You want to call it off? JACK Call what off? TYLER The fight. JACK What fight? TYLER This fight, pussy. Jack swings another roundhouse that slams right under Tyler's ear. Tyler punches Jack in the stomach. Tyler and Jack move clumsily, throwing punches. They breathe heavier, drooling saliva and blood, growing dizzier from every impact. EXT. CURBSIDE - LATER Jack and Tyler sit on the curb, watching sparse headlights on the nearby freeway. Their eyes are glazed with endorphin- induced serenity. They look at each other, laugh. Look away. TYLER If you could fight anyone... one on one, whoever you wanted, who would you fight? JACK Anyone? TYLER Anyone. Jack thinks. JACK My boss, probably. (pause) Who would you fight? TYLER My dad. No question. A long pause as Jack studies Tyler's face. JACK Oh, yeah. (nodding) I didn't know my dad. Well, I knew him, till I was six. He went and married another woman, had more kids. Every six years or so he'd do it again -- new city, new family. TYLER He was setting up franchises. My father never went to college, so it was really important that I go. JACK I know that. TYLER After I graduated, I called him long distance and asked, "Now what?" He said, "Get a job." When I turned twenty-five, I called him and asked, "Now what?" He said, "I don't know. Get married." JACK Same here. TYLER A generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is the answer we really need. Another pause. Jack feels his bleeding lip, smiles. JACK We should do this again sometime. Tyler cracks a smile, give a sidelong glance to Jack. EXT. PAPER STREET - NIGHT A street sign: "PAPER STREET." A PAPER MILL stis on one side, facing a lone HOUSE on the other. The rest of the land is grass and weeds. It's a grand, old three-story, long abandoned. Tyler leads Jack toward it. JACK Where's your car? TYLER What car? JACK (V.O.) I don't know how Tyler found the house, but he'd been there for half a year. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - ENTRANCE -- NIGHT Tyler leads Jack through the FRONT DOOR... JACK (V.O.) It looked like it was waiting to be torn down. Most of the windows were boarded up. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MOMENT LATER Tyler and Jack climb CREAKY STAIRS to the 2ND FLOOR LANDING. JACK (V.O.) None of the doors locked. The stairs were ready to collapse. I didn't know if he owned it or he was squatting. Tyler opens the door to a ROOM... INT. ROOM - CONTINUOUS Jack enters, stis on the creaky BED. Dust drifts upwards. JACK (V.O.) Neither would have surprised me. INT. SHOWER - MORNING Jack turns on the water. LOUD VIBRATIONS from the walls. Water spits in starts. JACK (V.O.) Nothing worked. The rusty plumbing leaked. Turning on a light meant another light in the house went out. EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT All the tavern's lights are off. Tyler and Jack FIGHT. FIVE GUYS stand around watching. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING Jack, his face showing NEW BRUISES AND CUTS, makes coffee with a wire-mesh strainer. Tyler shuffles in, wearing a flannel bathrobe. He spears pieces of bread on a fork, starts roasting them over a burner. JACK (V.O.) There were no neighbors. Just warehouses and the paper mill. The fart smell of steam, the hamster cage smell of wood chips. EXT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - NIGHT Jack sits watching as Tyler SWINGS an old GOLF CLUB -- THWACK -- sends a golf ball soaring down the desolate street. JACK (V.O.) At night, Tyler and I were alone for half a mile in every direction. EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT All the lights are off. TEN GUYS YELL, standing around Jack and Tyler, who FIGHT. THREE CARS are parked in the lot. INT. BASEMENT - DAY Jack sits on basement stairs, watching as Tyler, knee-deep in water, works at an open FUSEBOX, flipping breakers in a certain order, showing Jack how it's done. JACK (V.O.) When it rained, we had to kill the power. By the end of the first month, I didn't care about TV. I didn't mind the warm, stale refrigerator. INT. READING ROOM - NIGHT CANDLES BURN. Tyler and Jack are seated across from each other on the buckled floor, reading MAGAZINES. Rain DRIPS from the ceiling. No furniture. THOUSANDS of MAGAZINES. JACK (V.O.) The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in. TYLER (of magazine) Hum. JACK What? TYLER Oh, a new riot control grenade... (reading) "...the successful combination of concussive, 3000 foot-candle flash- blasts and simultaneous high-velocity disbursement of...blah, blah, blah..." Tyler begins RIPPING the ARTICLE from his magazine. JACK ("Reader's Digest") "I am Joe's Lungs." It's written in first person. "Without me, Joe could not take in oxygen to feed his red blood cells." There's a whole series -- "I am Joe's Prostate." TYLER "I get cancer, and I kill Joe." Tyler tosses his article in a pile of other articles, chooses another magazine. JACK What are you reading? TYLER Soldier of Fortune. Business Week. New Republic. JACK Show-off. EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT All the lights are off. Jack and Tyler stand amidst FIFTEEN GUYS around TWO GUYS FIGHTING. The crowd YELLS MORE WILDLY than before. In the background are EIGHT PARKED CARS. JACK (V.O.) I should have been haggling with my insurance company. I should have been looking for a new condo... EXT. STREET - NIGHT Jack walks along. He stops, looking at a CHURCH with SUPPORT-GROUP-PEOPLE milling around the entrance, drinking coffee and sodas. Marla's there, amongst them, smoking. JACK (V.O.) .... I should have been upset about my nice, neat, flaming little shit. Jack's face shows no reaction. He continues to walk. JACK (V.O.) But I wasn't. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Jack, in work clothes, interlocks his fingers and POPS his knuckles, picks up a saucepan with coffee and sips. Tyler, in waiter's uniform, comes to have Jack straighten his tie. JACK (V.O.) Most of the week, we were Ozzie and Harriet. Jack picks up his briefcase and walks out the door. JACK (V.O.) But, Wednesday night, ever Wednesday night... EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT All the lights are off. No one around, but there are at least TWENTY-FIVE CARS parked in the full lot. JACK (V.O.) ... we were finding something out: we were finding out, more and more, that we were not alone. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY A SLIDE SHOW progresses, run by a chipper salesman, WALTER. Jack sits, deadpan, with a PUFFY LIP and a BRUISED cheek. JACK (V.O.) Thursday mornings, all I could do was think about next week. Boss gives Jack a dubious look. Walter's next SLIDE: a COMPUTER SCREEN. WALTER The basic premise of cyber-netting your office is -- make things more efficient. BOSS Can I get the icon in cornflower blue? WALTER Absolutely. Walter continues, his sales pitch drowned out by Jack's V.O.: JACK (V.O.) Walter, the Microsoft account exec. Walter, with his smooth, soft hands. Maybe he was thinking about the free- range potluck he'd been to last weekend, or his church-group car-wash fund-raiser. Or, probably not. Walter moves to Jack and slaps him in the shoulder. WALTER I showed this already to my man here. You liked it, didn't you? Jack smiles. His teeth are RED with BLOOD. They GLOW eerily in the dim light. JACK (V.O.) You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick. WALTER Jesus, I'd hate to see what happened to the other guy. Jack keeps the smile frozen on his face. JACK (V.O.) Screw Walter. His candy-ass wouldn't last a second Wednesday night. EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - NIGHT Out of silent darkness, HEADLIGHTS appear from all directions. CARS PULL UP and park in the already-packed lot. YOUNG MEN get out and march into the tavern... INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME The men, including Jack and Tyler, enter and stand against the back wall, waiting. The bartender, IRVINE, calls out: IRVINE Drink up people. We're closing. Irvine flicks on the LIGHTS. Drunken customers squint and get the message. They plop down money, leaving. JACK (V.O.) It was right in everyone's face. Tyler and I just made it visible. Irvine hits a button and the JUKEBOX loses power. Members of the waiting army begins to share secret looks. Finally, one buy locks the door. Two other guys close the blinds. JACK (V.O.) It was on the tip of everyone's tongue. Tyler and I just gave it a name. INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - SAME A BOMB-SHELTER. Concrete walls. One BARE BULB above, Tyler standing directly beneath it. TYLER Welcome to fight club. The guys mill around, finding partners. Everyone brims with eagerness, but tries to act cool. CHATTER gets LOUDER. Everyone spreads out, forming a circle, Tyler at center. JACK (V.O.) Every week, Tyler gave the rules that he and I decided. PEAKING CHATTER, till Tyler raises his arms and the CHATTER DIES. A couple of COUGHS, FEET SHUFFLING, then, SILENCE. TYLER The first rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. The third rule of fight club is -- when someone says "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. Fourth rule is -- only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule -- one fight at a time. Sixth rule -- no shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule -- fights go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule -- if this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight. Tyler steps back. A short guy, RICKY, and a GOATEED MAN take off shirts and shoes and step to the center. JACK (V.O.) This kid, Ricky -- supply clerk -- couldn't remember whether you ordered pens with blue ink or black ink ... The two fighters circle, then begin throwing PUNCHES... JACK (V.O.) But Ricky was a god for ten minutes last week when he trounced an actuary twice his size. Harder, faster PUNCHES between the two. SWEAT flies. SHOUTS become DEAFENING. Ricky's getting the best of Goateed Man, POUNDING him... JACK (V.O.) Sometimes all you could hear were flat, hard packing sounds over the yelling, or the wet choke when someone caught their breath and sprayed... GOATEED MAN (spittle-lipped) Ssssstop... ! INT. OFFICE PARK RESTAURANT - DAY Jack, eating lunch, watches the BROKEN-NOSED WAITER with a GOATEE -- from the above fight -- converse with a MAITRE D'. JACK (V.O.) Even if I could tell someone they had a good fight, I wouldn't be talking to the same man. The Goateed Waiter approaches Jack and sets a refill soda down on the table. The two of them briefly make eye contact. JACK (V.O.) Who you were in fight club is not who you were in the rest of the world. INT. PHOTOCOPY ROOM - DAY Jack stands over a copy machine, hit by flashes of light. He glances over his shoulder, watches Ricky, wearing an apron, push a supply cart. Ricks nods at Jack. JACK (V.O.) You weren't alive anywhere like you were there. But fight club only exists in the hours between when fight club starts and when fight club ends. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Jack, playing SOLITAIRE on his computer, daubs blood from his mouth with a handkerchief. Boss, passing by the doorway, looks in at Jack, irritated. BOSS What are you getting yourself into every week? Jack keeps playing Solitaire. Boss enters, folds his arms. JACK (V.O.) After fight club, everything else in your life gets the volume turned down. You can deal with anything. BOSS Have you finished those reports? JACK (handing him reports) Yes. JACK (V.O.) The people who had power over you have less and less. Jack looks at Boss. Reflexively, Jack's tongue plays with his teeth. JACK (V.O.) By this point, I could wiggle most of the teeth in my jaw. EXT. STREET - DUSK Tyler and Jack walk, both smoking cigarettes. JACK (V.O.) A guy came to fight club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood. JACK If you could fight any celebrity? TYLER Alive or dead? JACK Doesn't matter. TYLER Hemingway. You? JACK Shatner. William Shatner. They reach a BUS STOP as a BUS arrives, tossing their cigarettes, getting on board... INT. BUS - DUSK The bus is crowded. As Tyler and Jack walk toward the back, Jack studies the faces of OTHER PASSENGERS... JACK (V.O.) We all started seeing things differently. Wherever we went. They hold hand grips. Jack looks up at an ADVERTISEMENT; a CALVIN KLEIN ad featuring a tan, bare-chested MUSCLE STUD. JACK (V.O.) I felt sorry for all the guys packing into gyms, trying to look like what Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger said they should. Tyler looks at Jack, looks at the C.K. advertisement. TYLER Self-improvement is masturbation. Self-destruction is the answer. A MAN in a suit KNOCKS Tyler's shoulder as he passes. The Man takes a handle, close by. Jack's pissed, staring at the man, who stares back. JACK (to Tyler, so the Man can hear) You could take him. Tyler looks to Jack, glances over his shoulder at the Man. Tyler casually picks a small scab off Jack's nostril. TYLER The trick is not to care. Tyler stares forward. INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - NIGHT Tyler HITS the floor, stomach first. HIS OPPONENT lands on top of him, grappling, trying for a CHOKE HOLD. The surrounding CROWD, Jack included, SCREAMS at them... Tyler and the Opponent wrestle desperately, and Tyler flips his attacker, gets on top, sprawling to pin him. Tyler turns -- starts reining PUNCHES into the Opponent's GROIN... CUT TO: Jack lands a couple of BLOWS to HIS OPPONENT'S stomach -- brings up a left uppercut that smashes the Opponent's jaw. Tiny spatters of BLOOD adorn the walls, along with sweat. Jack catches sight of a swollen-faced Tyler, watching appreciatively, a smile growing slowly on his face. JACK (V.O.) Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The Opponent recovers, throws a headlock on Jack. Jack snakes his arm into a counter headlock. They wrestle like wild animals. The crowd CHEERS maniacally. JACK (V.O.) They hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal church. Onlookers kneel to stay with the fight, cheering LOUDER. The Opponent SMASHES Jack's head to the floor, over and over. JACK ... stop... JACK (V.O.) When the fight was over, nothing was solved, but nothing mattered. Everyone moves in as the Opponent steps away. Tyler pushes through the crowd. Others lift Jack up. They turn their attention to the floor, to a BLOOD MASK of Jack's face -- similar to the TEAR MASK on BOB'S SHIRT. TYLER Cool. Jack limply shakes his Opponent's hand. OPPONENT How about next week? JACK Look at me. How about next month? Everyone helps Jack walk. He's sweating, bleeding, smiling. JACK (V.O.) Afterwards, we all felt saved. INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT A NURSE tends to Jack while Tyler watches. TYLER He fell down some stairs. The Nurse doesn't look at Tyler, just keeps tending to Jack. JACK I fell down some stairs. JACK (V.O.) Sometimes Tyler spoke for me. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - BATHROOM - MORNING Tyler and Jack share the cracked MIRROR. Tyler's clipping at his hair with blunt, ill-suited SCISSORS. Jack's brushing his teeth, spitting out pink foam. JACK (V.O.) Fight club became the reason to cut your hair short and trim your fingernails. TYLER Any historical figure. JACK Okay... Ghandi. TYLER Good answer. JACK You? TYLER Abe Lincoln. Big reach. Skinny guys fight till they're burger. Jack reaches in his mouth, exploring, pulls -- yanks a TOOTH. Jack looks at it. Tyler puts scissors down, done. TYLER Remember, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart. Jack drops the tooth in the sink with Tyler's hair. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON Jack enters, buttoning his shirt. The PHONE RINGS. JACK Hello? INTERCUT WITH... INT. MARLA'S BUILDING, HALLWAY - SAME Marla's in the HALL, on the PAYPHONE, twisting the phone cord around her neck. MARLA Where have you been the last few weeks? JACK Marla? Jack looks through the archway and sees Tyler, in his gummy flannel bathrobe, doing sit-ups. Jack leans, cups the phone. JACK (quietly) How did you find me? MARLA The forwarding number. I haven't seen you at any support groups. JACK That's the idea -- we split them. MARLA You haven't been going to yours. JACK I found a new one. MARLA Really? JACK It's for men. MARLA Like testicular cancer? JACK Look, this is a bad time... MARLA I've been going to debtor's anonymous. You want to see some truly fucked up people? JACK I'm just on my way out... MARLA Me too. I got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. Might've been too much. Jack looks exasperated, turns TO LOOK INTO THE CAMERA. JACK (V.O.) Picture yourself watching Marla Singer throw herself around her crummy apartment. MARLA This isn't a for-real suicide thing. This is probably one of those cry-for- help things. JACK (V.O.) This could go on for hours. JACK So you're staying in tonight? MARLA Do you want to wait to hear me describe death? Jack puts the handset on top of the phone, still off the hook, walks out the back door. MARLA'S VOICE Do you want to listen and see if my spirit can use the telephone? Thru the archway: Tyler leans to look in, curious. INT. BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT GRUNTS of PLEASURE and EXERTION. Glimpses of TORSOS, ASSES, LEGS, ARMS, BREASTS, and FEMALE HAIR, all DRENCHED in SWEAT. Sheets RIP. Bodies hit the FLOOR. Insane GRUNTING and LAUGHING. A flash of MARLA'S FACE. CUT TO: INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - SUNRISE Jack sits up in bed, looks around the room. INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING Jack steps out of his room. The neighboring door is closed. JACK (V.O.) Tyler's door was closed. I'd been living here two months, and Tyler's door was never closed. INT. BATHROOM - SAME Jack stares into the TOILER, looking at SIX USED CONDOMS. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Jack sits at the table, sips coffee, read Reader's Digest. He hears FOOTSTEPS approaching. JACK You're not going to believe what I dreamt last night. Marla walks in, straightening her dress, looks like she's been raped by a hurricane. Jack's jaw drops. MARLA I can hardly believe anything about last night. Marla goes to pour coffee. She takes a swig, GARGLES and SPITS it in the sink. She gives Jack a lascivious smile. JACK What are you doing here? MARLA What... ? JACK What the hell are you doing here? Marla stares at him a beat, then drops the cup in the sink. MARLA Fuck you. Marla shoves open the door to the backyard and walks out. Jack gets up, watches her stomp away. Jack turns and -- Tyler is at his shoulder, staring after Marla. He's in his usual sweatpants. He grins at Jack, then moves away, pours himself coffee. Jack, smoldering, slumps at the table and picks up Reader's Digest. Tyler puts his foot on a countertop, does stretching exercises. TYLER She's a piece of work. Get this -- I come in here last night, the phone's off the hook... Jack pretends to read, quickly glances at Tyler. TYLER'S VOICE FADES... JACK (V.O.) I already knew the story before he told it to me. INT. KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK) Tyler enters, gently lifts the handset and listens. MARLA'S VOICE (from handset) I'll tell you when I'm floating out of my body. Tyler smiles. JACK (V.O.) How could Tyler, off all people, think it was a bad thing that Marla Singer was about to die? INT. MARLA'S - 8TH FLOOR LANDING - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK) Tyler, a wry smile on his face, ambles up the stiars, looking at the rotting walls. He reaches the top of the stairs and heads for Marla's room. Before he can knock, Marla's hand shoots out and grabs him... INT. MARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK) Marla pulls Tyler inside and shuts the door. Her drugged eyes look him over. MARLA You got here fast. She staggers and sits on the bed. She slides off, along with the blanket and sheets, to the floor. MARLA The mattresses are all sealed in slippery plastic. She tries to focus her eyes on Tyler. MARLA Did I call you? Tyler studies her with cynical curiosity, looks at a DILDO lying atop a dresser. Marla follows his gaze. MARLA Don't worry. It's not a threat to you. SIRENS and vehicles SCREECHING outside can be HEARD; doors opening and SLAMMING; running FOOTFALLS. MARLA Oh, no! Somebody called the cops... She gets to her feet, grabs Tyler, pulls him out the door. INT. HALLWAY (FLASHBACK) Marla LOCKS her door, then pulls Tyler toward the STAIRCASE. COPS and PARAMEDICS charge up with oxygen and medical kits. Marla and Tyler flatten against the wall to let them pass. COP 8-G! Where's 8-G? MARLA (pointing) End of the hall. The rescuers keep running. MARLA (calling after) The girl who lives there used to be a charming, lovely girl, but she's lost faith in herself... COP Miss Singer, let us help you! You have every reason to live! Marla yanks Tyler's arm, heading down the stairs. MARLA She's a monster! Infectious human waste! Good luck trying to save her! INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Tyler makes coffee. Marla slouches against the refrigerator. MARLA If I fall asleep, I'm done for. You're gonna have to keep me up all night. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING (RESUMING) Tyler chuckles, shakes his head. TYLER Unbelievable, huh? JACK (V.O.) He was obviously able to handle it. Tyler stands across from Jack, gets a cigarette from a pack. TYLER I mean, this girl... uh, you're not into her or anything... ? JACK No. Not at all. JACK (V.O.) I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct. Tyler lights his cigarette. TYLER You're sure? JACK Yeah, I'm sure. TYLER Good. This chick was up on the table with her legs in the stirrups before the doctor even walked in the room. The things that she said... I've never heard a woman talk like that... INT. TYLER'S ROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Tyler smokes, post-coital. Marla puts her lips to his ear. MARLA (whispering) I want to have your abortion. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING (RESUMING) Tyler laughs, shakes his head. Jack's gripping his Reader's Digest just a little too tight. JACK (V.O.) How could Tyler not go for that? Night before last, he was splicing sex organs into "Little Mermaid." Tyler sits, studies Jack's face. TYLER You're okay with this? JACK I'm fine. JACK (V.O.) Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Tyler smokes. TYLER She is a wild, twisted bitch. Stay away from that one. JACK Oh, and my pace is more librarians. TYLER Hey... don't knock librarians. JACK Marla doesn't need a lover. She needs a case worker. TYLER She needs an exorcist. This isn't love. This is sport-fucking. JACK (V.O.) She'd invaded my support groups, now she's invading my home. TYLER Listen... do me a favor... sit here a minute... Tyler pulls out a closer chair, motions to it. Jack puts down his Reader's Digest and moves to that chair. JACK What? TYLER You've gotta understand something about me. I have a little rule, okay? Don't ever talk to her about me. Ever. I can't stand that kind of shit. Tyler fixes Jack with a friendly, but firm stare. TYLER If you ever say anything about me or about what happens here in this house, to her or anyone -- I will find out. And you'll never see me again. Promise me. JACK Okay. TYLER Promise you won't. JACK Yes, I promise. TYLER Promise? JACK I said I promise! TYLER That was three times you promised. Tyler smiles, gets up and leaves. Jack sits smoldering. JACK (V.O.) If only I had wasted a couple of minutes and gone to watch Marla die, none of this would have happened. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jack watches TV at HIGH VOLUME. SOUNDS of SEX from upstairs. INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Jack lies calmly on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Sounds of THUMPS and CRASHES from beyond the wall. MARLA'S VOICE (muffled through wall) Miserable fucking discharge! JACK (V.O.) I could've moved to another room, one on the third floor -- so I wouldn't have heard them. But I didn't. INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT SOUNDS of RAIN. Jack flips FUSES off, then walks upstairs. INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING - SAME Jack walks, HEARS Marla SCREAM in orgasm. He reaches the landing. Tyler's door is ajar. Jack peeks in... Marla's legs are sprawled on the bed. The door PUSHES OPEN WIDER -- Tyler, naked, stands CLOSE TO CAMERA. TYLER What are you doing? Jack steps back. JACK I... uh... just going to bed. Tyler scratches his head, wears a RUBBER GLOVE. TYLER You want to finish her off? JACK Uh... nah... Jack continues toward his room. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Jack brushes his teeth. JACK (V.O.) I became the calm, little center of the world. I was the Zen master. CLOSE UP - COMPUTER MONITOR Haiku is BEING TYPED in a trendy, italicized font. "Worker bees can leave Even drones can fly away The queen is their slave" JACK (V.O.) I wrote little haiku poems. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Jack's clothes are PERMANENTLY STAINED with BLOOD. He sits in Zen pose, cigarette in mouth, finishes typing Haiku. JACK (V.O.) I faxed them around to everyone. He hits "SEND," gets the "ERROR CHIME" SOUND. He presses this key over and over. Boss enters. BOSS Is that your blood? JACK Some of it, yes. Boss stares at Jack like he's from Mars. BOSS Take the rest of the day off. Come back tomorrow with clean clothes. Get yourself together. INT. HALLWAY - SAME Jack's leaving, looks like a war casualty, passing COWORKERS who coldly stare at him. His face is totally passive. JACK (V.O.) I got right in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. I'm comfortable with them. I am enlightened. EXT. PAPER STREET - SUNSET Jack walks toward the HOUSE. JACK (V.O.) You give up the condo life, give up all your flaming worldly possessions, go live in a dilapidated house in the toxic waste part of town... INT. TYLER'S KITCHEN - SUNSET Jack walks in. SOUNDS of VIOLENT SEX and a POLAROID CAMERA from upstairs. Pieces of PLASTER fall from the ceiling. JACK (V.O.) ... and you come home to this. TYLER'S VOICE (laughing) You fucking slut!! MARLA'S VOICE Thank you, sir, may I have another! Thank you sir, may I have another... ! Jack rolls his eyes, takes off his pants. He runs water in the sink, finds a tiny bit of SOAP and scrubs at the blood stains. The PHONE RINGS. He answers it. JACK Yeah. Speaking. INTERCUT WITH... INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE A cop, DETECTIVE STERN, refers to a file. DETECTIVE STERN This is Detective Stern with the arson unit. We have some new information about the "incident" at your condo. JACK Yes? DETECTIVE STERN I don't know if you're aware... your front door -- it seems someone sprayed freon into the lock, then tapped it with a chisel to shatter the cylinder. JACK No, I wasn't aware... JACK (V.O.) I am Jack's Cold Sweat. DETECTIVE STERN Does this sound strange to you? JACK Yes, sire, strange. Very strange. Jack starts to sweat, scrubs his pants obsessively. DETECTIVE STERN The dynamite... JACK Dynamite? DETECTIVE STERN Yes. It left a residue of ammonium oxalate and potassium perchloride. Do you know what that means? JACK What does that mean? DETECTIVE STERN It means it was homemade. JACK This is... really a shock... DETECTIVE STERN Whoever set this homemade dynamite could've blown out the pilot light days before the explosion. The gas, it seems, was just a detonator. JACK Who do you think could've done this? DETECTIVE STERN I'll ask the questions, son. TYLER (whispering in Jack's ear) Tell him... Jack almost leaps out his skin, startled; looks to see Tyler standing right next to him. JACK Huh? TYLER (overlap w/below) "The liberator who destroyed my property has re-aligned my paradigm of perception." JACK Shhhhhh! (into phone, overlap w/above) I don't know what to make of this, sir, I really don't... DETECTIVE STERN Do you know anyone who'd have the expertise or motive to do something like this? TYLER "I reject the basic assumptions of civilization, including material possession." Jack pushes Tyler away, cups the receiving. JACK (into phone) No. No, sir. I loved that condo. I loved every stick of furniture. The lamps, the chairs, the rugs, were me. The dishes were me. The plants were... JACK (V.O.) I'd like to thank the academy... DETECTIVE STERN Well, if any ideas come to you, give me a call. In the meantime, don't leave town. I may need to bring you in for questioning. END INTERCUT Jack hangs up. Tyler shrugs. TYLER Could be worse. You could be cursed with the three terrible Karmas. You could be beautiful, rich and famous. Jack turns away, continues to scrub his pants. Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be HEARD coming downstairs... Jack really grinds the soap against the pants, splashing water. He turns, sees Marla enter. Tyler is GONE. Marla lights a cigarette. JACK (V.O.) Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room. MARLA I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. JACK (keeps scrubbing) Worth every penny. JACK (V.O.) My parents pulled this exact act for years -- one came in, the other disappeared. Marla begins a slow, exotic dance, moving very close to Jack. She lifts her dress dangerously high, dancing close to Jack's body, almost touhcing. MARLA (seductive) It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree -- so special, then, bam -- it's abandoned on the side of the road, tinsel still clinging to it... Jack becomes very aware of having no pants on, presses against the counter. Marla pulls her hemline further up. MARLA Like sex crime victims, underwear inside-out, bound with electrical tape. JACK (coldly) It suits you. She leans in very close to Jack's ear, whispers hoarsely: MARLA You can borrow it sometime. Jack takes a step away, keeps scrubbing. Marla blows smoke in his face. Jack takes her cigarette and throws it in the sink. Marla backs away, fed up, storms out, going UPSTAIRS. TYLER (O.S.) Get rid of her. Jack turns to see Tyler in the doorway. JACK You get rid of her. TYLER (pointing at Jack) Don't mention me. Marla's FOOTSTEPS are coming DOWNSTAIRS. Jack looks to the archway, then back at -- Tyler's GONE. Marla enters, shoes and balled up clothing under one arm, looking for something on the junk strewn table. JACK (V.O.) I'm six years old again, passing messages between my parents. JACK I, uh... think you should go now. Marla ignores, still searching the table, tossing things, pushing other things off to the floor. JACK It's time for you to leave. MARLA Don't worry, I'm leaving. Marla finds what she wanted, a pack of cigarettes. She moves up into Jack's face. MARLA You're such a nutcase, I can't even begin to keep up. JACK Goodbye. She laughs, spins on her heels. As she exits the back door, she sings "This Merry-Go-Round" from "Valley of the Dolls." Jack watches her through the kitchen window. TYLER (O.S.) Nice work. Jack turns. Tyler's right behind him. Through the window, Marla can be seen walking away. Tyler picks up the remnant of SOAP Jack's been using, holds it up to Jack. TYLER To make soap, first we have to render fat. Jack looks at Tyler. CLOSE UP - SIGN: "DANGER - BIOHAZARD." EXT. FENCED-IN BIOHAZARD WASTE DUMP SITE - NIGHT Tyler stands inside the fence. Jack's atop the fence, struggling to cross BARBED WIRE. He wobbles, gets over, snags his shirt. Jack falls, RIPPPPP. Tyler helps. FOOTSTEPS. A FLASHLIGHT BEAM. Tyler pulls Jack behind a DUMPSTER, one of DOZENS. A silhouette of a SECURITY GUARD moves along the perimeter, flashlight first. He walks away. MOVE BACK to Tyler and Jack, who emerge from hiding. Tyler eagerly grabs the lid of the closest dumpster. TYLER The best fat for making soap -- because the salt balance is just right -- comes form human bodies... Tyler lifts the lid -- it CREAKS. JACK What is this place? TYLER A liposuction clinic. From the dumpster, Tyler pulls out an industrial-sized, thick plastic bag full of PINK GOO. TYLER Paydirt. From society's richest asses and thighs. TIME CUT: Tyler and Jack climb back over the fence, carrying BAGS of fat. One of Jack's bags RIPS, spilling the goo down the chain-link fench. Jack slips and slides. Tyler laughs. Tyler tries to scoop the running fat back into the bag. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Jack and Tyler each stir a boiling pot. TYLER As the fat renders, the tallow floats to the surface. Remember the crap they taught you in Boy Scouts. JACK Hard to imagine you in Boy Scouts. TYLER This clear layer in glycerin. We'll mix it back in when we make the soap. Tyler sticks a spoon into a pot, lifts up a scoop of the glycerin layer. Then, he crabs a can, opens it. TYLER Lye -- the crucial ingredient. (adding lye to mix) Ancient peoples found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. Why? Because, human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Year after year, bodies burnt. Rain feel. Water seeped through the wood ashes to become lye. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet. He takes Jack's hands and KISSES the back of it. TYLER The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkeys shot into space. The saliva shines in the shape of the kiss. Tyler pours a bit of the flaked lye onto Jack's hand. TYLER Without sacrifice, without death, we would have nothing. Jack's whole body JERKS. Tyler holds tight to Jack's hand and arm. Tears well in Jack's eyes; his face tightens. TYLER This is a chemical burn. It will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar. Jack looks -- the burn is swollen, glossy, in the shape of Tyler's kiss. Jack's face spasms. JACK (V.O.) Tyler's kiss was a bonfire on the back of my hand. TYLER Look at your hand. JACK (V.O.) Guided meditation worked for cancer, it could work for this. SHOT OF A GREEN MAPLE LEAF, GLISTENING WITH DEW. RESUME: Tyler looks at Jack's glazed and detached eyes. TYLER Come back to the pain. Don't shut this out. Jack, snapping back, tries to jerk his hand away. Tyler keeps hold of it and their arms KNOCK UTENSILS off the table. JACK (V.O.) I tried not to think of the words "searing" or "flesh." I imagined my pain as a ball of healing white light. SHOT OF A FOREST, IN GENTLE SPRING RAINFALL. RESUME: Tyler JERKS Jack's hand, getting Jack's attention... TYLER Stop it. This is your pain -- your burning hand. It's right here. Look at it. JACK (V.O.) I was going to my cave to find my power animal. SHOT OF THE INSIDE OF JACK'S FROZEN ICE CAVE. RESUME: Tyler JERKS Jack's hand again. Jack re-focuses on Tyler... TYLER Don't deal with this the way those dead people do. Deal with it the way a living person does. SHOT OF INSIDE THE ICE CAVE - ON MARLA, LYING NAKED UNDER A FUR COAT, TURNING HER HEAD TO LOOK TOWARDS US. RESUME: Jack tries to pull his hand free. Tyler won't let go. Jack's eyes glaze over again. Jack speaks, whiny from pain: JACK I... I think I understand. I think I get it... TYLER No, what you're feeling is premature enlightenment. SHOT OF A GREEN FOREST WITHOUT RAIN. RESUME: Tyler SLAPS Jack's face, regaining his attention... TYLER This is the greatest moment of your life and you're off somewhere, missing it. JACK No, I'm not... SHOT OF TREES ENGULFED BY A FOREST FIRE. RESUME: TYLER Shut up. Our fathers were our models for God. And, if our fathers bailed, what does that tell us about God? JACK I don't know... SHOT OF EMBERS POURING FROM THE HELLISH FOREST FIRE. RESUME: Tyler SLAPS Jack's face again... TYLER Listen to me. You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you, he never wanted you. In all probability, He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen... JACK It isn't... ? TYLER We don't need him... JACK We don't... ? SHOT OF INSIDE ICE CAVE - NAKED MARLA PULLS JACK DOWN ON TOP OF HER - JACK KISSES HER - CIGARETTE SMOKE COMES FROM HER MOUTH - JACK COUGHS. RESUME: Jack is a wide-eyed zombie... JACK ... Marla ... ? TYLER Fuck damnation. Fuck redemption. We are God's unwanted children, with no special place and no special attention, and so be it. Jack looks at Tyler -- they lock eyes. Jack does his best to stifle his spasms of pain, his body a quivering, coiled knot. He bolts toward the sink, but Tyler holds on. TYLER You can go to the sink and run water over your hand. Look at me. Or you can use vinegar to neutralize the burn, but first you have to give up. First, you have to know that someday, you are going to die. Until you know that, you will be useless. Jack spasms with a shiver of pain... JACK You ... you don't know what this feels like, Tyler. Tyler shows Jack a LYE-BURNED KISS SCAR on his own hand. Tears begin to drip from Jack's eyes. Tyler grabs a bottle of VINEGAR -- pours it over Jack's wound. Jack closes his eyes, holds his hand... slumps to the floor. TYLER Congratulations. You're a step closer to hitting bottom. INT. BARNEY'S - DAY Jack and Tyler, in trench coats, looking like deaht-warmed- over, wait as a BUYER fills out forms. There are bars of "The Paper Street Soap Company" soap on the counter. Jack looks like he's half-expecting to get arrested. His hand is BANDAGED. JACK (V.O.) Tyler sold the soap to department stores at twenty bucks a Ear. God knows what they charged. How ironic. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Jack sits at his desk, playing a game on his computer, smoking a cigarette. Boss enters. JACK (V.O.) He was wearing a yellow tie. It must be Thursday. I didn't even wear a tie to work anymore. Boss slaps a piece of PAPER down on Jack's desk. BOSS "The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club." Jack snuffs his cigarette in an ashtray, stares up stoically. JACK (V.O.) I must've left the original in the copy machine. BOSS "The second rule of fight club... Is this yours? JACK Hmm? BOSS You don't get paid to abuse the copy machine. JACK "Abuse" the copy machine. There's an image. BOSS Pretend you're me. You find this. What would you do? Jack rises slowly, walks to his door, shuts it. JACK Me? I'd be very careful who I talked to about this. It sounds like someone dangerous wrote it... someone who might snap at any moment, stalking from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 Carbine-gas semiautomatic, bitterly pumping round after round into colleagues and co- workers. Jack moves very close to Boss, picks up the PAPER and starts tearing it into pieces. JACK Might be someone you've known for years... somebody very close to you. Or, maybe you shouldn't be bringing me every little piece of trash you pick up. Jack puts the PAPER in his trash. Bass stares with a tinge of outrage, a tinge of fear. PHONE RINGS. Jack answers it. JACK Compliance and Liability. MARLA'S VOICE My tit's going to rot off. JACK Just a second. (to Boss; smiles) Could you excuse me? I need to take this call. Boss goes to the door, stares at Jack a beat, then leaves. JACK (into phone) What are you talking about? INTERCUT WITH - CLOSE UP OF MARLA... MARLA Would you do something for me? I need you to check and see if there's a lump in my breast. I can't afford to throw money away on a doctor. JACK I don't know ... MARLA Please. JACK (V.O.) She didn't call Tyler. I'm neutral in her book. EXT. MARLA'S HOTEL - SUNSET Jack walks down the sidewalk, seeing Marla take two BOXES from a VAN with the sign "MEALS ON WHEELS." INT. MARLA'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Marla leads Jack inside. JACK This is a